i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
