the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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