i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
