Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
