the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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