No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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