You can't special order awesome
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
