I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
