Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
