Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
