How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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