Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
