Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
