she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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