He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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