My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
