he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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