she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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