my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
