Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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