The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
