To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
