Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
