I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Drunk is not a location!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
