Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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