ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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