Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
