Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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