i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
