why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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