I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
