i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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