I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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