I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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