I heard we made out
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
