Only a mothe r could love this liver
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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