Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
