Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
