the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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