4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
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we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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