I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
