i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
