i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
