Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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