I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
