Your dad touched me again.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
