And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
