He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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