Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
