I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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