eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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