and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
