I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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