thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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