what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
