If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
