Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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