Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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