Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
