i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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