Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
