he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize