Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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