I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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