Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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