Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
