Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
