Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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