For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
