mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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